family, health, humor, motherhood, Uncategorized

Let’s move on from Mom Guilt, shall we?

The thing about becoming a stay-at-home mom is that, for many of us, you commit to it full force and get swept away in turning your attention to your childs needs every minute of the day with very little emphasis on your own. Of course, this is how parenthood should be, but to say it isn’t wearing at times is a lie. This summer has been unnaturally busy for me with all the weddings I am in on top of regular every day activities, but each time I have had to go out-of-town that Mom Guilt in the back of my mind has crept in. I have had to take these trips for some of the wedding activties and WANT to, so why should I feel guilty? My son is almost 4 and had a blast staying with my Father-in-law and getting his own vacation of sorts, so the feeling of thinking I shouldn’t take this time for myself and to be there for these activities with my friends is ridiculous, but goes to show the stigma of being a stay-at-home parent can get to you whether you realize it or not. Just because being a parent is our job, it doesn’t mean we completely put our lives on hold for 18 years. I realized that feeling like I need to be with him all the time and feeling like a burden for having family watch him a few days (even though they were literally elated to have him,) is putting guilt on myself for absolutely no reason. We may not have a 9-5 jobs but our job is literally to care for our kids 24 hours of the day, and that’s the most difficult job anyone could have. I do realize though that the older he gets and the more vocal, the mom guilt when I’m away from his has lessened because I know he can tell people if he needs something. The anxiety assumingly also stems from me not being used to being away from him and that has become my comfort zone for the past 3.5 years, even if it isn’t always comfortable, it is my norm. It’s funny to look forward to the minute you get a trip away then immediately think wow, I miss him so much. The grass is certainly always greener but I’m trying to find balance between being involved in his every move and also making my own needs a priortiy because he will only rely on me for so long, but on the other hand I need to continue to build on my own goals as well. Just writing that sounded so dramatic but it really is a balancing act trying to be a parent and be your own person as well. If you are experiencing the mom or dad guilt for taking time for yourself, even if it’s just making sure you get to some workouts every week or get to have happy hour etc., don’t ever feel bad for this. We can’t be the parents we want to be if we constantly burn out on taking care of everything and everyone else except ourselves. It doesn’t matter if other people think you should be doing more or what their opinions are because anyone who thinks we don’t need breaks..isn’t a parent. 🙂 Until next time, xo Chrissy

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