The thing about becoming a stay-at-home mom is that, for many of us, you commit to it full force and get swept away in turning your attention to your childs needs every minute of the day with very little emphasis on your own. Of course, this is how parenthood should be, but to say it isn’t wearing at times is a lie. This summer has been unnaturally busy for me with all the weddings I am in on top of regular every day activities, but each time I have had to go out-of-town that Mom Guilt in the back of my mind has crept in. I have had to take these trips for some of the wedding activties and WANT to, so why should I feel guilty? My son is almost 4 and had a blast staying with my Father-in-law and getting his own vacation of sorts, so the feeling of thinking I shouldn’t take this time for myself and to be there for these activities with my friends is ridiculous, but goes to show the stigma of being a stay-at-home parent can get to you whether you realize it or not. Just because being a parent is our job, it doesn’t mean we completely put our lives on hold for 18 years. I realized that feeling like I need to be with him all the time and feeling like a burden for having family watch him a few days (even though they were literally elated to have him,) is putting guilt on myself for absolutely no reason. We may not have a 9-5 jobs but our job is literally to care for our kids 24 hours of the day, and that’s the most difficult job anyone could have. I do realize though that the older he gets and the more vocal, the mom guilt when I’m away from his has lessened because I know he can tell people if he needs something. The anxiety assumingly also stems from me not being used to being away from him and that has become my comfort zone for the past 3.5 years, even if it isn’t always comfortable, it is my norm. It’s funny to look forward to the minute you get a trip away then immediately think wow, I miss him so much. The grass is certainly always greener but I’m trying to find balance between being involved in his every move and also making my own needs a priortiy because he will only rely on me for so long, but on the other hand I need to continue to build on my own goals as well. Just writing that sounded so dramatic but it really is a balancing act trying to be a parent and be your own person as well. If you are experiencing the mom or dad guilt for taking time for yourself, even if it’s just making sure you get to some workouts every week or get to have happy hour etc., don’t ever feel bad for this. We can’t be the parents we want to be if we constantly burn out on taking care of everything and everyone else except ourselves. It doesn’t matter if other people think you should be doing more or what their opinions are because anyone who thinks we don’t need breaks..isn’t a parent. 🙂 Until next time, xo Chrissy
I don’t know if it’s this never-ending allergy season or the fact that I’m officially thirty now but wow, I am really freakin tired lately, and that’s saying something since us parents are always severely over exhausted am I right?? This past week of birthday festivities has been so fun, however I ate like a 21-year-old on a drinking bender and haven’t slept a wink so my body is slightly dazed and confused in the aftermath. I got back into the gym yesterday for some time on the elliptical and today was my core day. I really took a lazy approach to it due to my current state (ha) and still managed to get a great session out of it with enough sweat to float a boat; albeit that could be my body trying to detox but moving on! SO if you’re having a lazy day or are just getting back into working out, here’s a good core workout that you can literally do from your own living room while your child doesn’t leave you alone..I mean..plays.
Modified Core Workout
(Start with a 8-10 minute warmup on the bike or rowing machine if you’re at a gym or some running in place, high knees etc. if at home.) Now obviously if you have been working out or feel energized etc you can add more reps to this workout, and each week that you do this tack on another rep. Also, if I don’t explain something well enough just message me or the good ole’ internet should help as well. Heres what I did:
Leg raises: lay down flat and engage your core while lifting your legs up off the ground and back down. Repeat movement 10 times (reps), do the 10 reps 3 times ( aka a set of 3) so 30 reps total
Standard crunches: 10 reps, set of 3
Shoulder tap planks: Get in plank position, lift one arm up and tap your opposite shoulder, repeat with opposite arm. Each tap counts as a rep. 5 reps, set of 3
Bicycle crunches: Lay down flat, twist torso with hands at you head, bring right elbow to meet left leg then repeat with opposite arm and leg. 10 reps, set of 3
Hand walkout (harder than it sounds just a warning): Stand up tall then engage core as you lower your hands down to touch your feet, then use your hands to literally walk on the ground as far as you can while continuing to engage your core, then walk your hands back to meet your feet and slowly stand upright again. 5 reps, set of 3
Dead Bug: lay down with arms spread out wide above your head and legs spread out as well. With arms and legs staying straight, lift right arms up to touch left foot, repeat with other side. 10 reps, set of 3
Do this once a week and continually add to your reps as you get stronger. Now onto the fun part. What does a workout have to do with guacamole? Welp, we do the workout..now stay with me here…then..we EAT the guacamole! Your mind is blown, I know. If we don’t know each other in person let me just state that guacamole is one of my favorite things on this planet and I love to experiment with funky recipes but there’s just something about a creamy, classic guac that I just really can’t resist. If you try this or have another killer guac recipe you know I simply can not live without, please let me know in the comments below.
Killer Creamy Guac Ingredients:
2 Hass avocados
1 tsp lime juice
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2-1 tomato finely chopped
1/4 onion finely chopped
1 tbsp vegan mayonnaise
pinch or two of Himalayan salt
Scoop out avocados and place in a bowl, use potato masher to start mashing them, add in the mayonnaise and continue to mash until it reaches a nice smooth consistency. Add in the remaining ingredients and stir until well blended. Use within a day or two as with most guac or and dips. Enjoy!! Until next time, XO Chrissy
The other day I had to stop and laugh at myself because honestly its just necessary most of the time. But anyway, I was getting my son ready for bed and realized there was no more diapers, but it was already past his bed time and freezing outside so..I grabbed one of my feminine pads for him and called it a damn day. It did the trick and he didn’t know the difference so I chalked that up to a half assed mom win for the night but it got me thinking, what other types of things do we do to survive toddler life? Obviously I’m not a therapist of child rearing expert, just a fist time stay-at-home Mom whose figuring things out as it goes.
Change your attitude: I know this sounds like asking a lot but honestly, changing my outlook on the minor difficulties has helped my mental state A LOT. For example, the other day I left the boys (aka my son and husband) on the couch to take a bath for some me-time (what a concept right?) The bath bomb had barely started fizzing when I heard my son coming down the hallway and quickly started pounding on the door asking to let him in, regardless of my husband asking him to stay with him. I was trying to have a few minutes of calm, which as a stay-at-home parents is rare as hell, and then he started crying because both doors were locked and he simply wanted to come in but the whole time I was in the bath was anything but relaxing to sum things up. There were times when little inconveniences like this, especially after a rough day, would drive me insane and push me over the edge. Instead, I found myself just laughing (not at his upsets of course but at the situation) and realizing that this is all par for the course. Your rest time will almost always be interrupted, you’re hardly ever alone without a shadow tracking your every move, you’re constantly going to be asked for something, and thats ok, just make sure to set boundaries and when you can..have a really big laugh. This stage wont last forever so I’m just trying to remind myself of that and find the funny in every day toddler craziness.
Improvisation 101: So the other month it was lunch time and I was blissfully unaware as I was heading to the kitchen that I had barely any food food left. No bread or tortillas, no jazzy fruit to liven things up, zilch. We all know a hungry toddler is not the epitome of a good time so I improvised. I took out one of my cutting boards and threw together a “picnic” with a few grapes barely hangin’ onto the vine, a handful of popcorn, some cut up string cheese, snap peas and sliced cucumber. I arranged them in little piles and said were having a picnic day, so we took our picnic board out on the patio and he loved it. Granted he asked for picnics everyday after that for a while but goes to show that just switching things up a bit, even if you were just doing it out of desperation, can make their day (and yours) a lot more fun.
Embrace the tantrums: I know I know, even the thought of tantrums can make us want to crawl out of our skin but the truth is that they are a necessary part of these lil guys lives and how they learn. Now obviously you need to set limits and not allow for physical violence but instead of sending them to time out every time or right away, try to hear them out a bit. They (clearly) dont know how to communicate everything, especially when their speech is still delayed, so tantrums are how they know they can get our attention and let out their emotions. Try to remain as close to calm as possible and sometimes you just have to ride out the tantrum but when my son would calm down, I’d ask him why he was upset and a little later on I would tell him that next time he feels frustrated to say “I’m frustrated!” and a lot of times now he will start getting upset and tell me that hes frustrated before the frustration fully turns into a tantrum. Then I’m able to ask him why and we figure things out a little easier; however there stil lare meltdowns and crying etc…I mean, toddlers aint emotionally stable lets be real. Just know that you are not alone and tantrums are a normal part of their learning process, even if they borderline push us to the edge. Ah, parenthood am I right..?
I plan on making this a recurring series where I can share random hacks and advice I think of and experience but would also love to hear from you guys on this topic as well! Hang in there moms and dads, were all in it together. Until next time xo Chrissy
What an enticing title to this blog..how could you resist right? Ha. But seriously thank you for those of you who have been so supportive of my posts since I started up blogging again, and for any new readers, welcome to the ride! As many of you know, I’m on a weight loss and health journey. I have struggled on and off most of my life but have gotten pretty unhealthy since having my son…over three years ago mind you but whose counting. To sum up my fitness, I have never had a problem with getting my cardio on; I love going to spin class (inconsistently) and take my son on walks or do the occasional YouTube fitness videos but what I’ve realized is that unless I’m actively losing weight, I’m just gaining those damn LBs. I do however study nutrition a lot and read many different publications/watch documentaries on food health and I am trying to find balance with the nutritional side of health as well. The thing thats different about trying to lose weight at this point in my life is that I’m not just aiming for a number on the scale, I’m trying to fuel my body in a much healthier way and get strong as a motherrr. I’ve been seeing a personal trainer for a little over am month now and thought I’d share a few things that he’s taught me as well as ones I’ve been realizing myself. Per usual, I am NOT a doctor but just someone who knows others struggle like I do and want to share my journey. Alright enough rambling Chrissy, here are some tips that have been helpful so far:
Eat Your Damn Breakfast: Welp unfortunately its true, our parents were right about yet another thing. When they said that breakfast was the most important meal of the day, they knew what they were talking about. I always would eat at least a little something but never put much emphasis on breakfast, and since incorporating consistent workouts in my routine Ive realized how important it is. On days, for example, I eat a piece of toast with one scrambled egg I hardly have any energy to put into my day let alone a workout. Ive learned that calories aren’t only what counts but what KINDS of foods you eat and that applies to all meals. Now, especially on days that I have weight training, I will eat literally probably 3/4 of my calories by my noon workout. Sweet potatoes, peanut butter, bananas, fruits, whole foods..those are what give us the energy needed to properly workout and feel good while doing it.
Weight Train: “Oh, no, girls shouldn’t weight train they’ll get bulky, stick to cardio.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard versions of this sentence since I was little and what I’ve seen now is that it’s absolute bullshit. First of all, as we get older (especially us women) we lose so much strength so its important to build on it while we can. Weight training also greatly aids in fat loss and builds up muscle; the more muscle gained the more calories your body burns just to keep up, which is amazing. It also helps with flexibility and for me personally, starting weight training has helped me feel more focused mentally and has given me my own fitness goals to strive for. Also on a side note, find cardio based workouts as well that are FUN to you. For example I love my spin studio classes because it feels like a party and I also go to 24-hr fitness which has really fun fast paced Zumba classes. Experiment and find something you actually look forward to.
Put..the scale..DOWN!: I will be the first to admit that I have had a messed up relationship with the scale for as long as I can remember and sometimes weighed myself multiple times a day, which is so ridiculous and unhealthy mentally. Especially with weight training, you gain so much water weight when you begin and even though my trainer literally explained it all to me, I still would weight myself every day and not understand why my weight wasn’t budging. This then turns into a vicious cycle of becoming discouraged and feeling defeated before even truly beginning your journey. So, for now, put down the scale and focus on other achievements like how your clothes are fitting as well as how you feel emotionally and physically. Check your weight at most once a week to make sure you aren’t completely going the wrong direction but its so much more beneficial to ease up on it a bit.
Eat whole foods: No I don’t mean go to your local Whole Foods and buy some of their awesome fresh made baked goods, I mean eat real foods, like from the earth. I’m still in the process of transitioning to better, healthier foods but after about a month I’m really starting to enjoy adding things like snap peas or fresh fruit (yes it’s ok to eat fruit, don’t let people convince you otherwise, there are SO many health benefits to SO many fruits and I can talk about that later if people want) or edamame beans etc., things that help fill you up and give you natural sustainable energy. And on that note, carbs are ridiculously important for brain health and fuel your body for workouts or just everyday life so don’t fear carbs just learn about which ones are good for your body. Make as many of your meals as possible and avoid overly processed foods, especially for now when your body is adjusting to so many positive changes. You cant out-workout a shitty diet and that has been something that has been really hard for me to understand and am working hard on finding that overall balance with health and fitness.
Live with the discomfort: What I mean by this is when the 9 pm cravings for candy or fast food hit you, just live with that discomfort and DISTRACT yourself. When I feel this way, what Im realizing is that it is extremely temporary, so if a craving hits hard I’ll open my laptop and look at some fun YouTube videos or browse for a new show to binge or literally do anything else to distract me and before you know it the craving and strong urges will pass. And while they may be more common for some than others, just remember that this is soon going to pass and remind yourself why you’re starting this journey in the first place.
Make yourself a priority: I’m sure other stay-at-home parents relate with me on this but I have a hard time making my needs priority, when in reality if I’m not healthy mentally and physically I’m really not able to be the best parent to my son that I could be. So without any guilt, start making yourself a priority. Set a schedule that allows you to get to the gym, even if it means having to go late in the evening when your partner or parent or friend is home form work and can watch your child for an hour or two. Take time to research nutrition and really make this journey something that you do for YOU first and foremost because we all deserve to feel healthy and happy.
As always thank you guys so much for stopping by and I really hope this helps some people in a similar boat as myself. If you are just starting a fitness journey too or have been on one for a while and have more advice please feel free to share in the comments. Until next time xo Chrissy
Apparently I’ll be 30 years old in a couple weeks, and honestly I’m having some harsh realizations. Today I was at Target..as us Moms do, and I got ridiculously excited over a random pajama set for summer..a freakin pajama set!! Remember in your early twenties when you would get excited over a party coming up or a first date or going on a spur of the moment road trip with your friends..? Yeah..now I get excited about getting to go grocery shopping on my own and freakin pajamas. I feel like theres ebbs and flows before and after you’re old enough to do the “real” fun stuff. For example, when I was a pre-teen and couldn’t drive or do real grown up stuff yet, I got excited about things such as, again, a cute pajama set or my mom dropping me off at the mall with my friends (ah, freedom) or a new burger joint etc. Sound familiar? Then you become a teenager and your interests get more wild, all the way until your mid twenties when the allure of doing crazy things, like taking shots and partying until the early morning, kind of starts to ware off. And here I am again..over 15 years later, excited about the same things that got me hyped in middle school. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be at this place in life and actually am really looking forward to my thirties but damn…it’s really crazy how much things change in just five years. The thought of being out until 2 am makes me literally cringe, and I used to be out every single night of the weekend bar and club hopping. Netflix and chill literally turns into just relaxing and watching movies and having a toddler doesn’t really allow for many spur of the moment adventures, however it has shaped me into this borderline Grandma personality who really is happy with the small things in life, and thats pretty damn cool. So while I’ll spare the typical “30 things I’ve learned in 30 years” post, I will say that I think its awesome I’ve even made it this far in life and that theres still so much to look forward to. I remember when my older cousins turned 30 and I was a teenager thinking “Yikes, they’re, like, so old now…” and maybe thats true to some but I’m ready to embrace this new chapter of life and find balance between the little old lady in me and the party loving thrill seeker. Thanks for listening to this random post and I’ll be sure to share some stories from my 30th birthday. Until next time. xo Chrissy
I posted the other week about my issues with weight and how Ive been struggling a lot the past few months, well, years to be honest. I shared how I was starting with a personal trainer and I did, however per my awesome luck, I got a miserable virus from my cousin, which I then passed onto my son and then of course my husband..so its been weeks since I’ve been able to properly workout or even move around for more than 10 minutes without feeling like my life was coming to an end. So I finally tried to go back to training on Tuesday and I kid you not..I was so over heated/out of it from being sick for so long that I did two dead lifts..yes you heard me TWO, and I got so lightheaded and faint that I literally had to stop the workout before it even began and my trained had to go into the office (filled with a bunch of other trainers watching) and get me a protein bar. Needless to say, it was a GREAT feeling. If this was ten years ago I would have been so mortified that I’d never go back, but since becoming a mom it takes an awful lot to embarrass me (I know you fellow toddler parents know what I mean.) Regardless, now it feels like I’m right back to where I started, which is an out-of-shape mom trying to get fit but struggles so damn hard. I know that I need to get out of my head and focus on long-term lifestyle changes that I’m making but finally getting into a groove and immediately having such a set-back has left me feeling frustrated. Over the past few months I’ve gained so much noticeable weight that I’m fairly sure close friends and family assume I have baby #2 on the way, but rest assured its just my unhealthy relationship with food and stress, per usual. I’m doing my best to put the past few weeks behind me and start new so I hope my next health journey post is much more positive and less self-loathing and I’m sorry if this post was a bummer but I appreciate all the support and messages and know I’m not alone in this. If you have any advice that worked for you at the beginning of your health journey please feel free to share below. Until next time xo Chrissy
My son has been sick this week and i had a lot of realizations that i might not be winning mom of the year anytime soon. Disclaimer: I admit I’m not great at many things in life but I do give my all to being a mom and have a pretty happy little dude because of it..that being said..there are many..MANY times I gain some “bad mom” points. These are all harmless and I know I’m not alone so lets all just agree that a huge part of motherhood is simply winging it..and sometimes we succeed a tad less than others am I right?!
- Like I said, my son has been sick, and I feel horrible for him because I was sick with the same bug the week before, but….everytime he coughs and sneezes my first reaction in my mind is “omg shut the hell up already!!” Of course I don’t say it out loud which is why maybe this only counts as half a bad mom point but still…as I was thinking it the other day for about the 15th time I also wondered what other bad mom things I do or think. But seriously, I didn’t know coughing and gagging was such a strong irritant for me but I sure realized that pretty damn quickly this week #badmom
- Some days I’m too tried to do anything, like literally making meals is about as much as I have in me, so i make up lies like the parks are closed for cleaning or a storm is on its way so we NEED to stay inside and try to take a nap to ride it out #badmom
- When his dad is home and I can do some errands on my own for once, my son usually asks to come with me because he really wants to and I cringe inside even though I should be thrilled that he wants to spend more time with me. But c’mon…shopping alone has become a damn luxury that I only get like once a month so I don’t feel TOO bad leaving them in my dust as I sprint to the car alone #badmom
- When my son tells stories they literally go on for what feels like 15 hours so I have no other choice but to space out, even if we’re with friends or family. I mentally check in every now and then to see that he’s still going but if I have to hear him explain every detail of a show we watch 15 times a week any longer, I might have to rip my ears off #badmom (no we don’t actually do that much screen time, I know someone out there is hyperventalating at the mere though of it)*
- I told my son that he couldn’t have those brownies I made for breakfast and then the next morning, huddled over the sink, I definitely ate some of those brownies for breakfast #badmom
- My son told me I was being rude the other day when I definitely wasn’t and my first thought was “oh okay..ill SHOW YOU RUDE!! GAME ON” #badmom
Obviously none of these things make anyone an actual bad mom so lets spend less time judging other moms and more time cry-laughing at the fact that these 30 lb humans are basically running our entire lives. cheers to all the other “bad moms” out there, keep being amazing and support one another xo chrissy