family, health, humor, motherhood, Uncategorized

Let’s move on from Mom Guilt, shall we?

The thing about becoming a stay-at-home mom is that, for many of us, you commit to it full force and get swept away in turning your attention to your childs needs every minute of the day with very little emphasis on your own. Of course, this is how parenthood should be, but to say it isn’t wearing at times is a lie. This summer has been unnaturally busy for me with all the weddings I am in on top of regular every day activities, but each time I have had to go out-of-town that Mom Guilt in the back of my mind has crept in. I have had to take these trips for some of the wedding activties and WANT to, so why should I feel guilty? My son is almost 4 and had a blast staying with my Father-in-law and getting his own vacation of sorts, so the feeling of thinking I shouldn’t take this time for myself and to be there for these activities with my friends is ridiculous, but goes to show the stigma of being a stay-at-home parent can get to you whether you realize it or not. Just because being a parent is our job, it doesn’t mean we completely put our lives on hold for 18 years. I realized that feeling like I need to be with him all the time and feeling like a burden for having family watch him a few days (even though they were literally elated to have him,) is putting guilt on myself for absolutely no reason. We may not have a 9-5 jobs but our job is literally to care for our kids 24 hours of the day, and that’s the most difficult job anyone could have. I do realize though that the older he gets and the more vocal, the mom guilt when I’m away from his has lessened because I know he can tell people if he needs something. The anxiety assumingly also stems from me not being used to being away from him and that has become my comfort zone for the past 3.5 years, even if it isn’t always comfortable, it is my norm. It’s funny to look forward to the minute you get a trip away then immediately think wow, I miss him so much. The grass is certainly always greener but I’m trying to find balance between being involved in his every move and also making my own needs a priortiy because he will only rely on me for so long, but on the other hand I need to continue to build on my own goals as well. Just writing that sounded so dramatic but it really is a balancing act trying to be a parent and be your own person as well. If you are experiencing the mom or dad guilt for taking time for yourself, even if it’s just making sure you get to some workouts every week or get to have happy hour etc., don’t ever feel bad for this. We can’t be the parents we want to be if we constantly burn out on taking care of everything and everyone else except ourselves. It doesn’t matter if other people think you should be doing more or what their opinions are because anyone who thinks we don’t need breaks..isn’t a parent. 🙂 Until next time, xo Chrissy

health, motherhood, Uncategorized

Even the best of times cause anxiety..

This summer has been the busiest one I can remember. Being in all of these weddings in a row, while an honor, has been a bit more stressful than I was imagining. As someone who has had anxiety since I was 18, I know that even though staying busy can be a good thing, sometimes when times get TOO busy, it can really send my anxiety into high gear. The thing about anxiety is that it comes from nowhere sometimes and other times it’s as if your body knows you’re under a lot of stress and is trying to tell you because your brain hasn’t really realized it yet. That seems to be exactly what’s going on lately. Even though these events are wonderful, the planning and execution and traveling is starting to add up and I can physically feel it. On a side note, planes make my skin crawl so that is another huge contributing factor. We also just found out that we can’t take our dog up to the first wedding..which may I reiterate is this weekend so that’s just another hurdle to have to jump on top of every day life and trying to get ready for the trip itself. Yes I am aware that there are much worse things in life and I never take my health and these experiences for granted, however anxiety spares very few of us and it truly does turn easy events into difficult ones when it occurs. I guess I’m writing this because it’s whats been on my mind a lot lately and anxiety/mental health issues have had such a stigma but I do see people being more open about their problems and I think it’s important for all of us who suffer to remember that it really is so common and we aren’t alone in these struggles. Luckily my anxiety got much less extreme as I entered my mid-twenties but I’m fairly sure it is something I will have to deal with all of my life and finally accepting that has actually helped me see things in a more positive light. Just knowing that I will always need to work on my coping skills and management is ok with me and I’m aware of it. As the bachelorettes and showers have come to an end, this weekend marks the first of three weddings in a row and, just like a rollercoaster, I know that the anticipation of leading up to this is what’s causing the most of the anxiety and once I’m in the moment it will start to dissipate. Thank you for listening to a seemingly random ramble but if it resonates with you at all I hope you know you’re definitely not alone. I have a fitness update coming soon but wanted to write this while it was on my mind for those who can relate and also for myself, which is truly the greatest part of writing. Until next time, XO Chrissy

636025641466195728435107648_stress