family, health, humor, motherhood, Uncategorized

Let’s move on from Mom Guilt, shall we?

The thing about becoming a stay-at-home mom is that, for many of us, you commit to it full force and get swept away in turning your attention to your childs needs every minute of the day with very little emphasis on your own. Of course, this is how parenthood should be, but to say it isn’t wearing at times is a lie. This summer has been unnaturally busy for me with all the weddings I am in on top of regular every day activities, but each time I have had to go out-of-town that Mom Guilt in the back of my mind has crept in. I have had to take these trips for some of the wedding activties and WANT to, so why should I feel guilty? My son is almost 4 and had a blast staying with my Father-in-law and getting his own vacation of sorts, so the feeling of thinking I shouldn’t take this time for myself and to be there for these activities with my friends is ridiculous, but goes to show the stigma of being a stay-at-home parent can get to you whether you realize it or not. Just because being a parent is our job, it doesn’t mean we completely put our lives on hold for 18 years. I realized that feeling like I need to be with him all the time and feeling like a burden for having family watch him a few days (even though they were literally elated to have him,) is putting guilt on myself for absolutely no reason. We may not have a 9-5 jobs but our job is literally to care for our kids 24 hours of the day, and that’s the most difficult job anyone could have. I do realize though that the older he gets and the more vocal, the mom guilt when I’m away from his has lessened because I know he can tell people if he needs something. The anxiety assumingly also stems from me not being used to being away from him and that has become my comfort zone for the past 3.5 years, even if it isn’t always comfortable, it is my norm. It’s funny to look forward to the minute you get a trip away then immediately think wow, I miss him so much. The grass is certainly always greener but I’m trying to find balance between being involved in his every move and also making my own needs a priortiy because he will only rely on me for so long, but on the other hand I need to continue to build on my own goals as well. Just writing that sounded so dramatic but it really is a balancing act trying to be a parent and be your own person as well. If you are experiencing the mom or dad guilt for taking time for yourself, even if it’s just making sure you get to some workouts every week or get to have happy hour etc., don’t ever feel bad for this. We can’t be the parents we want to be if we constantly burn out on taking care of everything and everyone else except ourselves. It doesn’t matter if other people think you should be doing more or what their opinions are because anyone who thinks we don’t need breaks..isn’t a parent. 🙂 Until next time, xo Chrissy

family, humor, Uncategorized

Signs I might be a Bad Mom

My son has been sick this week and i had a lot of realizations that i might not be winning mom of the year anytime soon. Disclaimer: I admit I’m not great at many things in life but I do give my all to being a mom and have a pretty happy little dude because of it..that being said..there are many..MANY times I gain some “bad mom” points. These are all harmless and I know I’m not alone so lets all just agree that a huge part of motherhood is simply winging it..and sometimes we succeed a tad less than others am I right?!

  • Like I said, my son has been sick, and I feel horrible for him because I was sick with the same bug the week before, but….everytime he coughs and sneezes my first reaction in my mind is “omg shut the hell up already!!” Of course I don’t say it out loud which is why maybe this only counts as half a bad mom point but still…as I was thinking it the other day for about the 15th time I also wondered what other bad mom things I do or think. But seriously, I didn’t know coughing and gagging was such a strong irritant for me but I sure realized that pretty damn quickly this week #badmom
  • Some days I’m too tried to do anything, like literally making meals is about as much as I have in me, so i make up lies like the parks are closed for cleaning or a storm is on its way so we NEED to stay inside and try to take a nap to ride it out #badmom
  • When his dad is home and I can do some errands on my own for once, my son usually asks to come with me because he really wants to and I cringe inside even though I should be thrilled that he wants to spend more time with me.  But c’mon…shopping alone has become a damn luxury that I only get like once a month so I don’t feel TOO bad leaving them in my dust as I sprint to the car alone #badmom
  • When my son tells stories they literally go on for what feels like 15 hours so I have no other choice but to space out, even if we’re with friends or family. I mentally check in every now and then to see that he’s still going but if I have to hear him explain every detail of a show we watch 15 times a week any longer, I might have to rip my ears off #badmom (no we don’t actually do that much screen time, I know someone out there is hyperventalating at the mere though of it)*
  • I told my son that he couldn’t have those brownies I made for breakfast and then the next morning, huddled over the sink, I definitely ate some of those brownies for breakfast #badmom
  • My son told me I was being rude the other day when I definitely wasn’t and my first thought was “oh okay..ill SHOW YOU RUDE!! GAME ON” #badmom

Obviously none of these things make anyone an actual bad mom so lets spend less time judging other moms and more time cry-laughing at the fact that these 30 lb humans are basically running our entire lives. cheers to all the other “bad moms” out there, keep being amazing and support one another xo chrissy

family, food, health, Uncategorized

Has Motherhood made me fat..?

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t struggled with weight issues on and off my whole life. I remember as a kid having a full deli sandwich with a damn LARGE JAMBA JUICE instead of like, I don’t know, maybe a glass of water? I’ll spare the details of the rest of my childhood/teen health rollercoaster so lets fast forward to 3.5 years ago. After having Sean I couldn’t nurse for very long because I was bordering on anemia, so right away the one thing that is really intended to help with weight loss after delivery had hurled itself out the window. Ok no problem (I’d convince myself) and just went about life trying to eat a bit better and take the baby on walks every day, which in retrospect probably lasted maybe 20 minutes if that. As his first year went on I was still out of shape, and when he was around 8 months old my extremely rude gallbladder turned against me. Now let me just take a moment to say that I would not wish a gallbladder attack on my worst enemy, it truly feels as if you are dying. So one of the first things you need to do in preparation for gallbladder removal/ life after is to cut down on fatty foods and eat much healthier so I did because I was sick as a dog, with jaundice on my skin and eyes and just having overall pain. After the surgery I was eating better and losing weight but thats the funny thing about life, it doesn’t really pause for you to get your shit together. So yeah sure I lost some weight but stalled, and then recently started gaining again as Sean has gotten older and I am doing more in terms of getting him to activities but not making time for myself. And yes I know that’s a recurring theme in most of my posts but it really is a huge reality for us stay-at-home parents. The funny thing is that my son eats so healthy, loves salads and fruit more than anything, and here I am just grabbing whatever I can when I get a moment and not caring what I’m putting in my body as long as everything keeps chugging along for our family. Well I’m writing this post to share with others but also to keep myself accountable. I know I will always deal with an unhealthy relationship to food but I’m hoping to end this extreme rollercoaster ride and make my body’s needs as important as the rest of my familys. So, did motherhood make me fat? No, Ive always had weight problems but I sure as hell have let the responsibilities of motherhood serve as a crutch and thats just not an acceptable outlook. Next time I post about my health I hope to be sharing positive changes and feeling better, but I find comfort in knowing I’m not alone in all of it. Alright guys thanks for listening, ’til next time XO Chrissy

Motivation+weight+loss_c7ce08_5486614

family, Uncategorized

Confessions of a stay-at-home Mom

Real life convo the other day

Person “So what do you do?”

Me: “Well the last few years I’ve been a stay at home mom, I’ve done some blogging here and there and some brand repping…”

Person (cuts me off): Oh so just the stereotypical stay-at-Home Mom activities..(laughs)”

Me: “Ha…yeah…” *slaps him across the face in my mind

Another thing someone has said to me when hearing what I do

Person: “Geese I wish I could just stay at home and play all day for MY job.”

Me: “Uhh yup…ME TOO.”

For the love of all that is holy!! If others only realized how much we do and have to juggle on a minute to minute basis! And listen I get it, as an adopted child I know how lucky we are to even be able to have kids and how amazing it is but let’s be real, it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had. When I worked 9-5 jobs I had a relaxing lunch break, could spend my days off (remember what days off are?) doing whatever I wanted and could take time for my mental and physical health. That all greatly lessens and let’s not forget how emotionally draining dealing with a toddler can be, especially when they start believing they know everything and are always right..give us strength. I wouldn’t trade staying home these years for anything, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that us stay at home parents (shout out to you too dads!) are just on an extended vacation everyday. There’s no such thing as a weekend or a rest day or time off..well that is until they’re grown ass adults so hey, just another 20 or so more years guys! I guess the point of this post is to remind myself and others that even though stay-at-home parent life can sometimes feel like we’re on an island by ourselves, we’re not, and should be able to vent as often as needed to maintain sanity. The other week I finally signed up for some physical training lessons and have started to make (at least a few of) my needs a priority again because it’s definitely harder to be on top of things as a parent when we feel like the only things we do are for other people. So big virtual high five to all of you reading this who can even slightly relate because we’re in this thing together and hopefully continue to raise some pretty awesome humans.  xo chrissy

family, Uncategorized

The Mom that doesn’t quite fit in

Becoming a toddler mom kind of feels like going back to middle school. There’s different Mom cliques, different parenting style, different schools, the list goes on and on. As a first time mom I feel like I dont quite fit in. None of my close friends have kids yet and I find that some moms take themselves too seriously or the exact opposite. I’m sure I fall somewhere in the middle. On top of it, most moms I meet already have multiple kids and therefore enough friends to juggle around. I want so badly to make more Mom friends but I find myself acting like a pre-teen on a first date. I get almost nervous and try to be cool without looking like a crazy lady desperate for attention..but clearly I kind of am. I think there’s a stigma that we need to have it all together; that we should act like we have a great social life, great mental health, every day is so great because that’s how moms should be..but it’s completely unrealistic, and maybe if we all admit to that a bit more it will be easier to make true connections to one another. Now I know once your kid is in actual preschool it will get seemingly easier to form consistent friendships but dang, some days I feel like I’m on my own island wondering how I could possibly be feeling lonely when my toddler never stops needing something from me. A big reason I’ve come back to blogging is because I really love this community and learning about your guys experiences makes me feel more connected to other parents out there. I know other people have experienced this or are going through it and I just want to put it out there that maybe we can all be a little more open and vulnerable with each other..’cause no one of right mind can say this whole Mom thing is easy. Xo Chrissy

family

Get Outside…seriously

I’ve learned that being a stay-at-home parent clearly has its benefits for you and your kid(s) but let’s be real..it can be the most stressful job in the entire world. Some days we do crafts, go to the park, grab lunch etc…and other days I’m lucky if we go down the hall to do laundry. Exhaustion, stress, anxiety and so on can make your average day feel like torture but what I’m realizing is that even if we just spend an hour on the patio blowing bubbles or watching him on his scooter..I feel better. There’s definitely something to be said about being out in the fresh air that maybe resets your mind and body, even if you don’t realize you need it. Although we go to a co-op school twice a week, I’m really trying to create positive experiences for him. Even if these experiences are super simple, like looking for bugs on a walk or watching airplanes fly near our house, I know it is good for the both of us. I constantly see kids on their own cell phones or tablets..which excuse me but I didn’t get a phone until I was 13 and it only allowed me to call three different people so it’s mind boggling, ANYWAY I really hope our generation of parenting can help reset things a little and let kids really experience being kids without just constantly relying on technology to entertain them for us. What are your thoughts on this? Xo Chrissy

Uncategorized

Welcome to the ride

Hi everyone, welcome to my first post! I used to blog back in the day when my son was a baby because lets face it..there was a lot more down time when they used to…whats that word again, oh yeah, NAP. My name’s Chrissy and I’m an almost 30 year old mom trying to figure out the whole keeping your sanity and maintaining some sort of self-care while also being a parent thing. I think theres a huge stigma that when you’re a mom, whether its stay-at-home or working, you can’t ever complain. I was adopted so I understand how truly special it is to be able to raise kids and is something to never be taken for granted, but to act as if its all a walk in the park is unrealistic. I’m hoping to share my own life and also get to know a ton of you while being able to express the good and not so good parts of motherhood (and fatherhood too, hi-ya dads out there!) This blog will be dedicated to going on this journey together as well as random things such as lifestyle posts, easy healthy recipes, lazy parenting hacks and so on. Hope you stick around and reach out because there are few things I love more than getting to know new people. xo Chrissy19225861_10100860708280833_2308575927857912417_n