Sorry for being so MIA guys as you can probably tell from the title we have been going through a rough time. Our beloved french bulldog has been suffering from a disc disease for over a year and when it happened out Vet and the emergency doctors told us he would most likely need to be put down but had us try medical maintenance for a while and it would work but only to a certain degree. He was only seven but in that amount of time has suffered from so many medical conditions it was unreal. The amount of times his back/neck would go out and debilitate him was getting more prominent and he was taking longer in-between episodes to recover. Finally the other week an episode was going on for almost three weeks and we knew it was time to let him go and not have to suffer. I can’t explain how hard this has been and how conflicted I have felt even though I knew it wasn’t fair for him to live like that and was told by many people, including the veterinarians that it was what was right for him it doesn’t stop you from feeling so incredibly guilty and sick over it. On top of that having a toddler that doesn’t understanding everything yet has made it more difficult. Now I know everyone has different religious beliefs and to say that I have been strong in faith as an adult would be lie, however I was raised going to church, my parents still go to church every weekend and growing up having something to believe in such as Heaven truly did give me comfort in times of grief like this. I explained to my son at first that our dog was very sick, then as it got more obvious that he wasn’t coming back I explained the concept of heaven as simply as I could and that animals like our dog go there when they are sick and can’t live down here anymore. I won’t lie and say it was easy and that it made him feel better right away but it did help him to understand the concept of death in a way that I feel wasn’t overwhelming but also wasn’t just lying and acting as if his dog might possibly come back to give false hope. Regardless of what you believe or how you choose to explain what happened, just know that telling you toddler the truth, as much as it hurts, truly is for the best and helps them go through the grieving process and accept it as opposed to acting as if nothing has happened. I hope that if anyone is going through this, or has before, and has struggled over it that you truly aren’t alone and even though it’s the right thing to do to stop their suffering, it will always be hard for us to deal with. I will be taking a little longer of a break online then will get back into the swing of regular posts etc. Until next time, XO Chrissy
This afternoon I got back from a weekend in Wine Country for my friends bachelorette party. I am the matron of honor and we put together a pretty relaxing weekend of wine tasting, food and relaxation; exactly what she (and the rest of us old ladies) wanted. I can pretty confidently say that this was one of the few times I’ve had this year to truly chill a bit and not have a million things to do for other people; the thing is, I still felt the physical stress that I carry around with me every day, even when I’m not fully aware of it. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before but I’m in three wedding this summer which means multiple events, several of which I’m hosting/hosted, increased expenses etc. And while I’m so happy to be involved in all of it, having everything back-to-back on top of everyday priorities (and my dad having surgery the day before I left) has been pretty stressful and today when I got home I found myself just crying. When I got home the boys went to the park so I could unpack a bit but Sean didn’t want to come back and was having a tantrum upon entering the house, which he hasn’t done like in a while and was screaming bloody murder. So you know those moments when you don’t even realize you’re overwhelmed then everything hits you out of nowhere and you burst in to tears..? Well, good, now we know we aren’t the only ones! I always find myself saying “What are you complaining about? Things could be so much worse” and that is an understatement. We have a wonderful family, a roof over our head etc. and even so, parenting has this way of testing you and pushing you to limits you didn’t even know you had. So, fellow mamas (and papas,) stay-at-home or working or single parent or grandparent, adopted or blood, whoever you may be..if you’re raising a human there are going to be times you feel in over your head and wonder how you’ll get through everything in one piece, but you will and you are strong. These moments pass, and I know one day when Sean is off to college I’ll think how silly I was and what I would do to have these days back. It’ll all be ok, and we do the best we can. I’m not sure that there was a clear point to this post and maybe it was a form of relief for me to write this, but it it resonates with you somehow, I hope you remember that you are a rock star and juggle this thing called life the best you can. New recipes coming this week but thank you for listening to this random post. Until next time xo Chrissy
The other day I had to stop and laugh at myself because honestly its just necessary most of the time. But anyway, I was getting my son ready for bed and realized there was no more diapers, but it was already past his bed time and freezing outside so..I grabbed one of my feminine pads for him and called it a damn day. It did the trick and he didn’t know the difference so I chalked that up to a half assed mom win for the night but it got me thinking, what other types of things do we do to survive toddler life? Obviously I’m not a therapist of child rearing expert, just a fist time stay-at-home Mom whose figuring things out as it goes.
Change your attitude: I know this sounds like asking a lot but honestly, changing my outlook on the minor difficulties has helped my mental state A LOT. For example, the other day I left the boys (aka my son and husband) on the couch to take a bath for some me-time (what a concept right?) The bath bomb had barely started fizzing when I heard my son coming down the hallway and quickly started pounding on the door asking to let him in, regardless of my husband asking him to stay with him. I was trying to have a few minutes of calm, which as a stay-at-home parents is rare as hell, and then he started crying because both doors were locked and he simply wanted to come in but the whole time I was in the bath was anything but relaxing to sum things up. There were times when little inconveniences like this, especially after a rough day, would drive me insane and push me over the edge. Instead, I found myself just laughing (not at his upsets of course but at the situation) and realizing that this is all par for the course. Your rest time will almost always be interrupted, you’re hardly ever alone without a shadow tracking your every move, you’re constantly going to be asked for something, and thats ok, just make sure to set boundaries and when you can..have a really big laugh. This stage wont last forever so I’m just trying to remind myself of that and find the funny in every day toddler craziness.
Improvisation 101: So the other month it was lunch time and I was blissfully unaware as I was heading to the kitchen that I had barely any food food left. No bread or tortillas, no jazzy fruit to liven things up, zilch. We all know a hungry toddler is not the epitome of a good time so I improvised. I took out one of my cutting boards and threw together a “picnic” with a few grapes barely hangin’ onto the vine, a handful of popcorn, some cut up string cheese, snap peas and sliced cucumber. I arranged them in little piles and said were having a picnic day, so we took our picnic board out on the patio and he loved it. Granted he asked for picnics everyday after that for a while but goes to show that just switching things up a bit, even if you were just doing it out of desperation, can make their day (and yours) a lot more fun.
Embrace the tantrums: I know I know, even the thought of tantrums can make us want to crawl out of our skin but the truth is that they are a necessary part of these lil guys lives and how they learn. Now obviously you need to set limits and not allow for physical violence but instead of sending them to time out every time or right away, try to hear them out a bit. They (clearly) dont know how to communicate everything, especially when their speech is still delayed, so tantrums are how they know they can get our attention and let out their emotions. Try to remain as close to calm as possible and sometimes you just have to ride out the tantrum but when my son would calm down, I’d ask him why he was upset and a little later on I would tell him that next time he feels frustrated to say “I’m frustrated!” and a lot of times now he will start getting upset and tell me that hes frustrated before the frustration fully turns into a tantrum. Then I’m able to ask him why and we figure things out a little easier; however there stil lare meltdowns and crying etc…I mean, toddlers aint emotionally stable lets be real. Just know that you are not alone and tantrums are a normal part of their learning process, even if they borderline push us to the edge. Ah, parenthood am I right..?
I plan on making this a recurring series where I can share random hacks and advice I think of and experience but would also love to hear from you guys on this topic as well! Hang in there moms and dads, were all in it together. Until next time xo Chrissy
My son has been sick this week and i had a lot of realizations that i might not be winning mom of the year anytime soon. Disclaimer: I admit I’m not great at many things in life but I do give my all to being a mom and have a pretty happy little dude because of it..that being said..there are many..MANY times I gain some “bad mom” points. These are all harmless and I know I’m not alone so lets all just agree that a huge part of motherhood is simply winging it..and sometimes we succeed a tad less than others am I right?!
- Like I said, my son has been sick, and I feel horrible for him because I was sick with the same bug the week before, but….everytime he coughs and sneezes my first reaction in my mind is “omg shut the hell up already!!” Of course I don’t say it out loud which is why maybe this only counts as half a bad mom point but still…as I was thinking it the other day for about the 15th time I also wondered what other bad mom things I do or think. But seriously, I didn’t know coughing and gagging was such a strong irritant for me but I sure realized that pretty damn quickly this week #badmom
- Some days I’m too tried to do anything, like literally making meals is about as much as I have in me, so i make up lies like the parks are closed for cleaning or a storm is on its way so we NEED to stay inside and try to take a nap to ride it out #badmom
- When his dad is home and I can do some errands on my own for once, my son usually asks to come with me because he really wants to and I cringe inside even though I should be thrilled that he wants to spend more time with me. But c’mon…shopping alone has become a damn luxury that I only get like once a month so I don’t feel TOO bad leaving them in my dust as I sprint to the car alone #badmom
- When my son tells stories they literally go on for what feels like 15 hours so I have no other choice but to space out, even if we’re with friends or family. I mentally check in every now and then to see that he’s still going but if I have to hear him explain every detail of a show we watch 15 times a week any longer, I might have to rip my ears off #badmom (no we don’t actually do that much screen time, I know someone out there is hyperventalating at the mere though of it)*
- I told my son that he couldn’t have those brownies I made for breakfast and then the next morning, huddled over the sink, I definitely ate some of those brownies for breakfast #badmom
- My son told me I was being rude the other day when I definitely wasn’t and my first thought was “oh okay..ill SHOW YOU RUDE!! GAME ON” #badmom
Obviously none of these things make anyone an actual bad mom so lets spend less time judging other moms and more time cry-laughing at the fact that these 30 lb humans are basically running our entire lives. cheers to all the other “bad moms” out there, keep being amazing and support one another xo chrissy
Real life convo the other day
Person “So what do you do?”
Me: “Well the last few years I’ve been a stay at home mom, I’ve done some blogging here and there and some brand repping…”
Person (cuts me off): Oh so just the stereotypical stay-at-Home Mom activities..(laughs)”
Me: “Ha…yeah…” *slaps him across the face in my mind
Another thing someone has said to me when hearing what I do
Person: “Geese I wish I could just stay at home and play all day for MY job.”
Me: “Uhh yup…ME TOO.”
For the love of all that is holy!! If others only realized how much we do and have to juggle on a minute to minute basis! And listen I get it, as an adopted child I know how lucky we are to even be able to have kids and how amazing it is but let’s be real, it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had. When I worked 9-5 jobs I had a relaxing lunch break, could spend my days off (remember what days off are?) doing whatever I wanted and could take time for my mental and physical health. That all greatly lessens and let’s not forget how emotionally draining dealing with a toddler can be, especially when they start believing they know everything and are always right..give us strength. I wouldn’t trade staying home these years for anything, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that us stay at home parents (shout out to you too dads!) are just on an extended vacation everyday. There’s no such thing as a weekend or a rest day or time off..well that is until they’re grown ass adults so hey, just another 20 or so more years guys! I guess the point of this post is to remind myself and others that even though stay-at-home parent life can sometimes feel like we’re on an island by ourselves, we’re not, and should be able to vent as often as needed to maintain sanity. The other week I finally signed up for some physical training lessons and have started to make (at least a few of) my needs a priority again because it’s definitely harder to be on top of things as a parent when we feel like the only things we do are for other people. So big virtual high five to all of you reading this who can even slightly relate because we’re in this thing together and hopefully continue to raise some pretty awesome humans. xo chrissy